DRAMA NEVER ENDS!!

Remember not too long ago how Matt's heart was broken? Well, it has happened again. This time though, it's my Robert. He spent some time over here this evening needing hugs, needing to have people around him, and in need of someone to listen. It is so hard to see your own children hurt and know that you can't do anything to relieve it for them. It's as if I am standing in a terrible storm and can't move. All I can do is watch it as it hurls its fury. I can feel it, hear it, and almost touch it. But, I am paralyzed. If I had the power to move, I would grab the storm and hurl it away even if it meant I had to go with it. But, I can't, I just have to remember the storm will pass and the winds will calm. Time will do that.

Those old painful memories return, but without the fury when I have to see it in my own. However, if I could relieve their pain quickly by taking a double dose of it myself, I'd do it without hesitation. I truly, truly wish that I could. But, I am powerless, and that is the most infuriating feeling. Seeing someones need, and being completely unable to do anything that will actually help. It STINKS!!!! I am so thankful that I am done with relationships. I'm a loner, I am content to have only family around and the older I get, the more reclusive I feel a need to be. I am glad about that. It's less risky, and more peaceful. It's hard enough seeing my kids and grandkids hurt. I am beginning to really think that maybe "Love ain't worth it." TTFN

OUCH!!!

This week LaeLoni hurt her finger. I wish I had taken a picture of it. She has one on her phone, but I don't think she put it on the computer here. (she sent it to her email). She tried to hit Robert when they were both acting like 5 year olds. Instead, she hit the door knob. Her middle finger was swelled up, and eventually the entire underside of it turned blue. She hurt for a couple of days. Anyway, the bruise is so light now that it wouldn't show up in a photo. LaeLoni is a real klutz and it served her right for trying to hit someone else, right? Right!

Now then, I am a different story. I think I must have felt left out in the pain department. I wanted to keep LaeLoni company, but I waited too long to do so. If ever you have wondered why Sadie May is so uncoordinated, you need only look as far as her dad, Robert. If you wonder about him, look at his mother. Oh, wait now that's me. Me a klutz? No way! Just because I walk into walls, have two left feet, trip over shadows, and cannot chew gum as I walk does not mean I am an uncoordinated klutz. I just have occasional accidents.

Last night, while retrieving a diet A&W root beer from the refrigerator, I knocked over a big bottle of cranberry juice. Unfortunately, I caught said juice bottle. Unfortunately you ask? Yes, because I had a little accident. The refrigerator jumped out and hit me very hard on the end of the finger. I didn't know it was alive and had the ability to smack anyone. It smarted, I stuck my finger in my mouth, calmly explained to Loni that I decided to join her in her quest to harm her finger, and hurt mine too. She didn't get the drift though because she is uneducated and doesn't understand "finger in the mouth speech."

I can't use my finger because it's (nearly 24 hours later) numb yet painful, and the nail is damaged etc. That doggone fridge hit it really, really hard. I could have cursed, but I did not. I whined instead, and then I iced it. It felt much better.

Loni damaged Middle Man, and I damaged Pointer. Last week, I damaged Thumbkin by stabbing him with a trimming scrapbook razor. Now then who would like to go next? We still need someone to damage Ring Man and Pinkie. Do I have any offers? I DO NOT intend to take those on myself. I'm done. So, on that note, I shall say a fond TTFN!

More Silliness

SANDY WANTS
To be your loyal fan (Only if you are Tyne Daly or James Spader)
Babies (I've had enough, thanks)
To Fly (Yes, I have always wished I could fly)
To Extend the restraining order (this is for all the bees out there----STAY AWAY FROM ME!)
A "nip/tuck" boob job (nah, I'm good)
To Make it Happen

SANDY HAS
The Beetis (if you say so)
More to Want--(want in one hand and spit in the other)
Possibly the best opening moment (you betcha)
Spyware (Darn straight, and I see you)
Left a heartbroken Quiznos (I'm sorry, but I had to leave you Quiznos. I'm in love with Wingers)
A free "Speerit" World (is this a foreign spirit world?)
Got a "Round Tuit's" Dreambook (and you should see what that Round Tuit put in its book---woohoo!)

SANDY MADE
A "Bee Sting" drink (Yummy, I think)
A beautiful page for someone (What can I say, I have talent)
Someone wear a Christmas hat (and he/she looked really strange)
Someone join Facebook (Yeah, I wanted him/her to deal with that crap)

SANDY DID NOT
Make $400 million on a Vietnam Water Deal (I got nary a cent)
Cause hauntings (No way Jose)

SANDY IS GOING
Broke by degree (Duh!)
on 70 (give or take a year or three)
Above and Beyond for family (Right)
The distance (inch by inch)

SANDY HAS GONE
Bowling
Shopping (fun, fun, fun)
Home (and on that note I shall end this silliness and say a big TTFN)

I Need

1. A Lovely Home ( Yes, I do with 2 bathrooms, a craft room, lots of storage etc.)
2. A man's man (Yes, he could fix everything that needs fixing)
3. A job (What??? I have no skills)
4. A drink (I am a little thirsty)
5. A girlfriend (I would love it if Kristi would move here)
6. To Learn about HIV/AIDS (I really don't need to worry about that)
7. Love (Kitty come and snuggle, now!!!!)
8. This (so I guess I get to choose---to be independently wealthy)
and last, but not least
9. To be killed REAL SOON (Who is going to accept the job?)
I wrote that last one exactly the way it was written

Clean Up, Clean Up Everybody Everywhere.....

This weekend, I decided to make the storage shelves a bit brighter and neater. It's not like they will stay that way. Somehow, we are unorganized and things get messy all over again. However, for now those shelves look mighty fine.

I bought a quart of paint and made a pass at painting the sides of each shelf. The wood did not take it too well. Still, it is better than nothing. It did not have to be a beautiful sight for my eyes---just better. After the paint dried, I lined most of the shelves with contact paper. It's just too bad the room stinks----cat litter and stuff you know. It's becoming that time of year where it smells now and again despite the fact that I clean it out every day, and change littler too. ICK!!!

Now, I need to work on the other sides of the room too and make them look passable. By the time I get them done (not today) I am half certain it will be time to work on the storage shelf side all over again. I am notorious for procrastinating. I inherited the gene. At least I will use that excuse for my lazy ways.

I am putting the proof of my hard (breathing heavily from exertion) work on here while I still can. I worked my little tushie off. Unfortunately I still have my gigantic one attached. Why, oh why is it always the little one that gets worked off? Taint fair. Anyhoo, I am guessing that I have no more to say. So, TTFN!

Facial Hair

Just wanted to let everyone know how nice I look with my new facial hair. After all the lecturing I did, and being mean and nasty about peoples' problems with it, I decided that I should have to suffer the look and feel of said hair. It took me no time at all to grow it. I just removed it from David Letterman's face, recolored it, and voila! I am thinking that I will shave this hair off. Of course, I can shave it off with photoshop, but that's neither here nor there. Rachel, do you love it? Am I not gorgeous? Do you think that lots of nice old men would enjoy kissing me? Woohoo. Anyway, here I am in all my bearded glory. Enjoy! TTFN.......

Gray is the Color of My True Self's Hair

#1 background photoshopped

#2 Photoshopped only a bit---powdered and eyes done badly---I see the lines--oops

I was singing that in my mind as I wrote it. I may not have the nice salt and pepper type of hair that Kris has, I may not have the really, really white hair that Joy Horner Fingerlos has (and I am envious---hey maybe I could dye it white), but I am now more gray than brown. As the old hair dye is getting cut out now and again, it is showing up big time.

I AM OLD!!!! But, I'm not as old as mom, I'm not as old as Rick and yada, yada, yada. Rick told me I am older than dirt, he came before dirt, and Iwell I'm just not sure about when mom came along. Rick is wrong though. Mom is older than dirt, he is about as old as dirt, and I am a tad bit younger. Besides I'm cute, and I can sing lovely songs in my head if not out loud. I also have beautiful eyes, and I know that because a recent survey I took told me so in two different ways. I have beautiful eyes, and I have eyes to die for. I have been practicing winking and batting. I have also been standing in front of the mirrors just admiring MY BEAUTIFUL EYES. that is for just in case some of you didn't really get what I wrote.

Today Robert brought his girls over for a while. Sophie took a picture of me, and since you can't see the double chin etc. I decided to post it on here. I did do a little touch up, but I am posting it for those of you who have not seen me just lately. It shows my gray hair just fine. I do get Senior Citizens rates now and again you know? Letting the gray take over is just so much easier than coloring my hair all the time. So, the gray is here to stay. But, I really, really do want white or that pretty silvery color some people get. Taint fair!!!! I am protesting. Now then, have a lovely day and don't forget that Luana says she is cute, but I have beautiful eyes. TTFN

Memory Monday

What's in a memory? Luana wouldn't know that because she has no memory of her past. How then I wonder does she remember that her childhood was the greatest time of her life? I guess the fact that she can't remember makes it so. Anything I don't remember must have been good. But, there are good things that I do remember. One of those really good moments was the day that Matthew was born.

I never saw any of my kids births. I just got to feel the pain. They came fairly quickly, so tis no big deal anymore. But, I watched Matthew being born. He is the only baby I have ever witnessed coming into the world. I can't even describe what I felt because it was so beyond words. What a "high" though. Then I was the first one to hold him after he was wiped down, weighed, etc. Melissa did give him a kiss on his nose and said,"Hello baby." But I held him before she did. The nurse even took a couple of photos of that moment. I loved Matt the moment I laid eyes on him.

I have some really nasty memories of his first years of life, but none involve him. It was my own demons that were affecting me. He made those years worth living. He gave me loads of wonderful moments. One of my favorites is when I tried to get him to sing. He had just fallen down and hurt his bum as he called it. I called it his seat, then asked again if he would sing Jingle Bells. His response was, "To my seat?" Sure Mattchooie sing to your bum.

Now that sweet little boy is a young man who has had his heart broken. It happens to most of us one time or another. But, I wish I could have protected him from that. His first heartache has brought memories of his early years to the surface for me. Never did I think about the day when he would be in love with someone, have her break his heart etc. He was just my sweet little grandson. At least I know that he will survive it, he will grow because of it, and he will move on. He may even have his heart broken again before he's done. He may also do a little heart breaking too. It happens. It's life, and I DON'T WANT IT TO HAPPEN TO MY GRANDKIDS!!!!!

I am just so thankful that he is close to his mother, can talk to her about nearly everything, and was able to call her the night it happened. He talked to her for a long time, and I am certain he poured his heart out to her. My daughter is awesome! She has made mistakes just like the rest of us, but she's a HELL of a lot better mom than I was able to be. Matt knows he is loved by her, he trusts her, and she was there to help him through this. But, I don't want it to happen again. But, I cannot stop life and the way it works. I send him lots of kisses and hugs though. But, they don't work for him anymore the way they used to (from me). His mama's hugs are what sustain him. And isn't that the way it should be?

I have rambled on and on and that is what I do. But, I shall end this memory Monday with one more statement. I'm cute! TTFN, Moi